A Moment Missed

It's 1:25am February 13th. I don't know the day of the week because--well that's just the norm. Today is a B day, B9 to be exact. I just showered and resolved to go to bed, rather than try to stay up and study for my first exam. As I layed down I couldn't help but to reflect on an "ah ha" moment I experienced today. 

It was dinner time, I was eating outside on the 6 deck with the inter-port students for Vietnam, and I began to quiet myself. The table, full of students; continued talking and questioning Fu, and Janet (I suppose this is the American name she chose for herself) about things to do in Vietnam and Cambodia. But slowly their voices fainted and if began to be fully present in the moment. I looked around and noticed nothing but water, and was amazed at the idea that we were on a ship somewhere off the coast of east Asia in the middle of the ocean. This was symbolic. I thought about life and how we as human beings are these energy forces, physical beings in the space of life/the universe, just as the ship is in ocean. I began to think deeper about how in my own life I am the ship, with a chartered course; one that I can't yet see but know that if I stay on course will arrive at my destination. I thought about how I in my life, and just as the ship must be prepared for strong winds, rough waves and swells, and inclement weather. I thought about how I too am in the center of space and time, passing through both night and day. And then nothing...

I stopped thinking. And I knew it was then, in that moment that I had arrived. I was there; at that space that I longed to be in. A space of complete zin, peace, stillness. I could see myself sitting on the deck, observing the waves and the beauty of nature. It was quiet and I was fully present in the moment. I had acknowledged that I was here. I was conscious of the world around and fully present in the now. I felt this. And i began thinking again. My first thought was to a wonderance of how I could document this moment. How could I share this with everyone at home, my journal I thought. And it was just that a thought, and as strong as it was, it wouldn't allow me to move. I couldn't get up, as much as I wanted to run and grab my journal or my laptop I couldn't. It was me, I believe that I was to share this moment with. I want to believe that a much as a I wanted to share this with someone else, I first, had to understand and experience it for myself. I wa not sad, or angry, but as I came out of his "ah ha" moment I couldn't help but to think back of why I couldn't get up to go grab my journal or my laptop. I just thought that this was a moment missed. I have no explanation for this phenomenon but I know what I felt. What I saw. What I experienced. 

This was a moment missed...