Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 Reflection

It's hard to believe this year is over, and harder to believe I lived to experience it all. In this present moment I am at peace. I am happy for all that I have experienced in my 21 years of life. I have found it therapeutic to journal and while reflecting over the year I found this journal entry ( first day as a White House Intern for the Obama Administration). It amazes me and I hope it amazes you too:

0:505am Tuesday May 28, 2013: "I’ve already tossed and turned all night. I couldn't sleep, and as I can recount-I awakened throughout the night 6 times already. My alarm is set for 5:30, yet I couldn't wait any longer! It seems so surreal. Yesterday while praying and worshiping; and ironing clothes at the same time, I couldn't stop the tears from running down my face. I am so grateful. I am so blessed. I am covered by God. I never in a million years would have thought my life would have unfolded in this fashion. Believe it or not, I never had a clear understanding of what my life would be, but God had a purpose. In the two times that I decided to adopt the titles of Judge, Jury, and Executioner and attempt suicide--God said no. In the time where I dropped out of elementary school to go around a white neighborhoods begging for money as if I was really sending it back to the UNCIF organization, only to use it to eat, and live throughout the next day--God said no. In the times where I thought there was no end to the abuse, both physical and verbal from my care takers--God said no. God blocked it indeed, and he hasn't let me go. I am EXCITED. I am NERVOUS, but I am PREPARED for what lies ahead. Today will be a day of impression, of joy, of excitement, of exploration. Today another part of the world will be introduced to the Incredible Life of Brian Stewart. God I trust you, I thank you, and I will forever obey you."

I am so blessed as I look back over the year, and years with clarity, understanding, and peace.

At this present moment I am filled with love, support, and the grace of God.

I am thankful to God, for giving me purpose and multiple chances at life.

I am thankful for my my friends and mentors who have helped me along the way.

I am thankful to the letters, emails, and messages of support and good wishes from around the world.

I am thankful to my family and my boyfriend who have been there with me from the beginning; having both suffered and benefited from my actions. You have never wavered in your love towards me and for that I am truly thankful.

On this last day of 2013 I am blessed, grateful, and loved.

I wish you an abundance of love and peace in 2014.

God bless you...And you can expect a thousand more smiles in 2014
(Posted on FaceBook 12/31/2013 2:03pm)

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